HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Today (March 1st) is Scott's birthday! I am posting this the night before because I will not have time in the morning! I love you, sweetheart! I hope you have a WONDERFUL day!!

LIGHTS,CAMERA,ACTION!!

There were alot of pictures from the camera. I could not load them all onto the blog. These were a few of my favorites! I apologize for the size of some of them. I could not figure out how to enlarge them,(I'm still learning!)
What a dollbaby!!! I miss him so bad!! I will be posting some pictures of him and Gloria (his primary caregiver) tomorrow. I found out today that she is no longer at the children's home. It's bitter sweet for me. I am sad, because I know how much one on one attention he received from her. I am happy because I am confident that God is going to use this to pave the way for JP to come home. I will explain it tomorrow's post.

I talked with my caseworker today. She encouraged me alot by telling me that PGN has picked up lately. Families are getting out sooner now. She has not heard from our lawyer. We are praying that we re-entered last week!!

Something About Mary

I am NOT talking about Cameron Diaz! The Mary I am referring to was the mother of Jesus. I have thought alot about her lately. I do not know why God has put her on my heart, but He has. I thought I would write about her. We do not hear all that much about her except at Christmas time. The other day when I was praying and reading (in the bathtub!) I thought about how, in her own way, Mary was an adoptive mom. Now, before anyone freaks out on me, let me explain! Although there are NUMEROUS differences between us and Mary, there are also a few similarities. Here are a few:

-God chose Mary to be a mother.

-The child she would soon raise was not the product of her relationship with Joseph.

-God chose her to carry His child because she was His faithful servant.

-Mary had to rely on God to tell her when the baby would be born.

In Luke chapter 1 beginning in verse 28, the angel approached Mary about God's plan for her. She was very afraid at first. She could not understand why God had chosen her. She was plain. Simple. I believe that's why He chose her. There was nothing extraordinary about her. She just loved Him every day. When the angel told her what was going to take place and how it would happen, Mary didn't ask any questions. Her response was simply, " I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." THAT WAS THE END OF THAT!!!! Wow!

Now, that's the BIGGEST difference between me and this Mary! I will list just a few of my responses to God throughout our adoption process:

"Why did you allow me to visit him if You were going to make me wait another three or four months before I could bring him home?"

"Why are other babies being united with their families and mine is not?"

"I begged You not to allow me to get kicked out of PGN!"

"I am hurting so badly without him, do You not care?!"

The list goes on and on. Could it be that God is waiting on me to have a heart like Mary? Is He waiting for me to simply say,"I am Your servant. May it be to me as You have said." If you read my responses, the words "I" "me" and "mine" appear 7 times! And that's only four of my responses. We won't count the rest! You tell me what's wrong with that picture.

My prayer for myself is that God will help me to trust Him the way Mary did. It definitely isn't something that comes naturally to me. He will have to develop it in me. Thankfully He is a patient God!

Patiently Waiting For JP

In his crib!

In his rocker w/ his hat!

Groomed and Gorgeous!

Change IS Good, but Change IS Also Difficult!

I am sad today. I guess I have felt sad the past several days. Several of my "blogmom" friends have exited PGN this past week. While I am SUPER excited for them, I can't help but be a little disappointed that we're not out--or back in for that matter. All I have to do it wait. And pray.

Another milestone took place in our lives this week. Scott and I decided to be obedient to God's call and move our membership to another church. There is a new church that has formed in Easley and God began tugging at our hearts SEVERAL months ago to move in that direction. We weren't ready. We have been loved, supported, and lifted up in prayer by our current church family and we were not ready to leave. We chose to ignore God--until now. Through prayer and a STRONG sense of the Holy Spirit, we are moving. It is extremely hard. I hope that our church family knows and understands that the only reason we are leaving is because God has asked us to. Choices are not involved. Scott and I know our purpose in this world--to help build the Kingdom of God and to glorify Him. While it is bittersweet to make this change, we are confident that the Lord will bless our efforts to do His will! We love and thank ALL who have supported us through our adoption process and have absolutely NO INTENTION of cutting "ties" with anyone. Everyone will meet this precious baby they've prayed for. We just will no longer have the opportunity to minister and worship under the same roof. Friendships DO NOT have to end.

While I am thankful for my trials, this has been alot to handle all at one time. I am very grateful to my God for carrying me through!! He is truly faithful! I love You, Father!

Once again our camera did not come. I will look forward to posting pictures AS SOON as it arrives! God Bless!

More To Come

Hey everybody! I have had an emotional couple of days. I am going to post more on here tomorrow. I have not received the camera yet. Hopefully tomorrow! Check in again tomorrow! I hope everyone is doing well!

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You.....

We are expecting our disposable camera to arrive in the mail ANY DAY NOW!! When it comes, I will post more cute pictures of the CUTEST little man in the world!! Hope everyone's had a great day!

Some Work On President's Day!

Today began like all the others. Breakfast, bath and to the laptop to check my emails!

These are important. I better save them on a disk.

I'll color with you, Cott, but only for a minute or two.

I'm an important girl making important phone calls!

When I'm done with this pile of paperwork, we'll do lunch!

Who wouldn't be tired?!

God's Word Is Real--EVEN In the Bathtub!

My hands are very wrinkled as I type this. I have a habit of staying in the bathtub FAR too long. I begin by turning on just the hot water. When it runs completely cold, I run more. It normally takes about 10 minutes just to sit down. I slide down so that the water comes up over my shoulders. Almost immediately I feel the tension release from my neck. I LOVE IT!!! Right now, I'm sure every one's wondering if I am going to write a love scene from a dirty romance novel, or something that actually pertains to all of us. I PROMISE it's the latter!! My point is simply that some of my favorite times with God actually take place in the bathtub. I am the most relaxed. I shut the door to keep the "world" out, (Sorry Scott!) and I clear my mind. Often times I have a great prayer time there. Today, my tub companion was Beth Moore. I am reading her book, "Jesus. The One and Only." The chapter I read today was about Jesus and His compassion for His people. She refers to the time when Jesus and His disciples traveled to the town of Nain. When they arrived, they witnessed a funeral procession. Jesus watched as a widow mother followed the casket of her young son. His heart went out to her. She was so enveloped in her own grief (naturally) that she did not even notice Him. He walked over to her, "felt compassion for her" and said, "Don't cry!" Jesus then walked over to the casket and touched it. "Young man, I say to you, 'Get up!'" We all know what happened next. The dead boy got up.

What does this have to do with all of us? I'll tell you what I believe God told me. Jesus cares that we're crying. He cares that we feel as if a part of us is missing. It hurts Him deeply when we weep. When Jesus encountered this women, His knee-jerk reaction was to put an end to her suffering. So He did. This is what He wants to do for us. We all are suffering and longing to have our babies home with us. Jesus could reach into PGN (or whatever stage we are in) and bring it to a close. It would be easy for Him to do. The ONLY reason He has not done that is because there is a plan that has to be carried out. If He stepped in and put a stop to it, the plan would not be fulfilled. There's a part of me that doesn't care, I just want Him to put a stop to it anyway!! The other part of me, however, cannot fathom what God MUST have in store for us. It will be awesome, or He would not allow us to hurt! Now, in knowing this, am I not going to cry anymore? No! Am I going to walk around with a happy smile on my face singing "God is so good?" No! Am I going to not want to get up out of the bed Tuesday morning and go to work? Absolutely!! But, I will. The morning still comes. I still have to go to work. I still have to be a wife, friend and a daughter. Each day I will give my emotions over to God and ask Him for His Strength. He'll give me just enough to get by. He always does.

I hope that this post brings comfort and encouragement to all the adoptive moms who read it. And to those who are not adoptive moms. It should encourage ALL who belong to God. Thank you for logging in to my blog! Let's be anxious for what God has in store!!

Fling It Out!

"When someone does a kindness
that brightens up your day,
When a good friend helps you smile although
Your heart's chock-full of pain...
When a gift comes unexpectedly
To make your spirits rise,
When a little word is said
To put a twinkle in your eye.....
Don't forget to fling that kindness
Right back out to someone else.
Send it on with sweet abandon---
Don't just keep it for yourself.
For joy that's shared is a boomerang.
Each kindness that you do,
Each smile you share, each heart you lift
Flings joy right back to you!"

Andrea's Top Ten List

This is for all of my adoptive blog friends!!!

Top ten things NEVER to say to an adoptive mom waiting for her baby to come home!

10) "So, why's it taking so long, what's the hold up?"
9) "Is there someone you can call to hurry things along?"
8) " Can you not have children?"
7) " Don't you want your OWN kids first?"
6) "This is just how international adoptions go.." (says the agency)
5) "There are alot of other couples worse off than you." (says the agency)
4) " Aren't you afraid you won't love THIS ONE the way you love YOUR OWN children?"
3) " Oh my gosh, you're missing so much!" "I hope you get him/her while their still a baby"
2) " Do you have your baby yet?!"
and most importantly...
1) "IF YOU WERE REALLY PREGNANT, YOU WOULD WAIT NINE MONTHS"

Rubber Ducky Your the One, You Make Bathtime So Much Fun!

First bath given by mommy and daddy!! This was pre-hairbuzz---it was pretty crazy!

Good 'Ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee......

Thanks to all who gave me your votes! Looks like Joseph Pablo will be sporting Big Orange when he comes home!! Hooray!!!!! Too bad for Scott! I will be auctioning off all of JP's Gamecock clothing if you Gamecock supporters are interested! ha! It's likely that would lead to divorce!

Well, today was a pretty good day. Before Christmas, Scott and I sent JP a care package. In it was a disposable camera. Today when I got home there was an email from Ginger (the case worker) that said she had a family just return from Guatemala and they brought her our camera. She is mailing it to me. She also said that Ivan (the lawyer) hoped to get JP's birth certificate ANY DAY now. He will resubmit our case as soon as he gets it. Ordinarily, I think I would be very happy about all of this, but for some reason I do not feel that way. In the past I have had to work extremely hard to keep my hopes from not flying high. Today I didn't even care that she emailed me. Don't get me wrong, I am anxious to get the pictures! I will ALWAYS love that, but the fact that Ivan is looking to get the birth certificate doesn't even phase me. Maybe it's because I walked around with my hopes up for months only to have them CRASH down on top of me. Maybe it's because God is protecting me from getting hurt if it doesn't enter this week. Since Ginger wrote me and told me it was kicked out last week, I haven't even responded to her. It's nothing personal to her really, it's just I am SO TIRED!! I am tired of wondering all day if she's emailed me. I don't want to let myself think, "Oh yeah, Ivan will probably submit us tomorrow, now I can obsess over how many more weeks 'till we can go and get him!" I TRULY do not even care. Part of me wonders if I should worry about how I feel. My feelings about traveling to pick him up haven't changed. I guess I am beginning to feel numb to the whole thing. My emotions are drained. I feel like it's just never going to happen. As I am writing this, I can feel my shoulders and neck getting stiff. I am going to stop now. I don't want to end up sad tonight. I apologize for being so "blue." GO VOLS!!!!!

"Cott" and Kenzie

This is our niece, MacKenzie! She's 18 months old and BEAUTIFUL, as you can tell! We love her very much and she cannot wait for JP (bubba) to come home. She loves babies. I cannot wait to see the two of them together. She is extremely smart, so I hope she plans on teaching JP a few things. Wait a minute...she's also feisty....maybe I don't want that!! hehehehe They will probably be "double trouble!" Oh well, at least their cute, right!

"Cott and Anya" love you!!

Who's Your Daddy??

For the record, Scott is going to be a WONDERFUL daddy! He is such a wonderful husband and I love him so much!! I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life watching him with JP. I was blessed enough to get to see this first hand at Christmas when we went to Guatemala. He literally cried every time he touched JP. It was so sweet.

He also is going to have a few extra stars in his crown when he gets to Heaven for putting up with me. I know we are both going through this trial, but he stays "put together" for the most part. Me, on the other hand, I am a CRAZY WOMAN!! I have had a good day today. I have felt emotionally stable. Yesterday, however, on the way to church I cried and snapped at him every time he said something to me. Poor thing, he never knows what to say or do! He's so cute! I thank God for him EVERY DAY! JP has no idea how lucky he is.

Having said all of that, he does have a love for the PlayStation! In fact, if he ever pulls himself away from NCAA Football long enough to read this blog, he's gonna be embarrassed! Don't worry though, I don't see him sitting here anytime soon! ha! Just like this blog stuff has been my distraction, I suppose that is what that game is for him. We'll see how much he plays when our little man gets here!

Well, I am actually going to try and go to bed early. Hopefully I'll have another good day tomorrow. It's a day to day thing. I never know! I am also blessed to work with a group of women who are VERY supportive of me and my emotional instability---Thanks girls!!!

Good night!

GAMECOCK or VOLUNTEER????? That is the question!

Everyone who knows us knows that JP is going to be a very confused little boy when it comes to college sports! We thought we would take a poll. What should JP be? A Gamecock or a Volunteer? Let us know what you think. (Mommy thinks he looks MUCH better as a Volunteer!!)

True Victory!

Other than my love for Peyton Manning, this is the reason I love the Colts!

1) I was reminded of the time in the Bible when satan went to God and asked if he could test Job. Job was faithful and satan wanted to prove to God that Job would turn from Him and blame Him for the disaster in his life. God allowed satan to take away his family, his posessions, and his money. Everything he had. Job remained faithful. He questioned, but he remained faithful. In the end, God was also faithful. He always is. ---If satan is testing us, I hate to disappoint him, but all this trial is going to do to my faith is make it stronger!

2) God protects us from things. He sees the big picture. He may just be protecting us from something that we are not able to see.

3) When God answers prayers, He answers in a way that is best for EVERYONE. Not just Andrea and Scott. Maybe He's answering Gloria's prayer. Gloria is the sweet lady in the children's home that LOVES my baby! She is sort of like a mother to him until he comes home. Maybe God is being gracious to her and not sending JP home until another baby comes along to take his place in her heart.

God does not get His kicks out of watching us cry. It doesn't make Him happy to see us upset and unhappy. In knowing that, I know that whatever He's doing, it has to be bigger and better than what we are expecting. (Jeremiah 29:11) Hopefully He'll allow us to see, in our lifetime, what He's doing. If not, then that's okay too! We will continue to trust Him. I also know that God only allows trials to come to those He trusts to handle them in a way that would bring glory to Him. If he trusts me with this trial, I do not want to let Him down. It's too big of a job. I will take it as a compliment. I may be sad on some days. I may cry. I may not want to talk all the time. But ultimately I will thank him!

I love ya'll and thank you so much for your support and prayers!

Update

We were kicked out of PGN today. I do not understand all of the reasons, but from what our case worker emailed me, it was for pretty senseless reasons. I am not able to write about it now. I will update more at a later time. We thank you for your continued prayers.

Andrea and Scott

HAPPY 6 MONTHS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My prayer is that you are happy, healthy, safe!! Bless the women who are taking such good care of you until you come home!

We love you,

Mommy and Daddy

Still no news

I did hear from Ginger through an email that Ivan (the lawyer) has not contacted her. I am feeling positive tonight, so NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!! Each morning, my friend Kathi and I have a mini devotion on the way to work. We have been reading from Barbara Johnson's "Boomerang Joy." There are so many things that she says that have hit home with me. From time to time I will post one on here for you to enjoy. I will share one now...

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is NOT learning from it! It's in the darkest places that the grace of God shines most brightly. That is where people begin to see Him. By His wounds we are healed. By OUR scars we are recognized as belonging to Him. There is something about having endured great loss (or longing for something) that brings purity of purpose and strength of character." Barbara Johnson

At the end of each devotion, she prays. This was the prayer on that day....

Lord, You've called me to a real world, not a fluffy cloud on which to play my harp. You've called me to be Your presence in the ugliest of places, to be Your hope in desperation. I need strength, Lord, and firm footing. Help me never to answer questions that are not being asked but simply TO BE JESUS TO ANOTHER PERSON TODAY! Amen.

I DO need His strength desperately. I ask for it everyday. He gives me just what I need to get by. Thank You, Lord!!

Stay tuned tomorrow morning. It's JP'S six month "birthday." I will post a new picture of him!

Good night! <><

What I learned today...

I learned today that it's okay to not be okay. Allow me to explain. While "surfing" the adoption blogs today I ran across one that touched me. This particular mother wrote that although she was a born-again Christian and inlove with Jesus, she was not okay with the fact that she did not have her baby yet. She wrote for a page and a half and completely unloaded and vented about how she was feeling. She is tired of walking past an empty nursery every day and night. She is tired of checking her email at work EVERY TEN MINUTES ( I can hear my co-workers laughing right now!) She is tired of praying the same prayer over and over and over again only to go through another day with no news whatsoever! She is tired of literally jumping every time her home phone rings only to see that it's the same dreaded 1-800 number that called the last ten times she jumped up!

My new adoption friends know that this list goes on and on. In reading her blog I was able to be honest with myself and admit that I am not okay with those things either. It was as if she climbed into my head and wrote down what I was feeling. By reading her HONEST entry, I felt better about not feeling so good! Does that make sense?! (my mom will understand!) After I finished reading (and checking my email ONE LAST TIME,) I went into the living room, got down on my knees and told God how I REALLY feel. And you know what?? He is okay with that too! He already knows that I am not okay. I just rarely voice that to Him. That changed this afternoon. He reminded me that I would not be ready for motherhood and I would not be ready to care for JP the way He wants me to if I DIDN'T mourn for him right now. What mother wouldn't feel these things after holding their new baby for the first time and then
leaving him? No-one I know.

Anyway, the moral of this Xtra long blog is that as Christians, we are not suppose to always be happy or okay with our circumstances. Just because we are upset or sad or emotional doesn't mean that we are not trusting God OR His timing. When you are faced with difficult trials, we have no other choice BUT to trust Him. After I prayed God used an obedient friend to give me His Word. This is what He said through her: "You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that My Word is fulfilled." Jeremiah 1:12. Enough said. God is at work even though Scott and I are unable to see that. Or feel that. In the meantime we may continue to cry. We may continue to be crabby. We may continue to be exhausted from this roller coaster ride called adoption. We may not always answer the phone b/c we're unable to talk, but at the end of the day we STILL say "thank you" to God for His blessings. We have plenty of those. We will just feel more complete when He delivers our BIGGEST blessing!

Thanks for those of you who read this entire thing....I'm sorry! Maybe I'm doing this more for myself than anything else. It's kind of like opening your journal and letting everyone read what you have written. Thanks for the continued prayers. Although I am going to TRY not to check my email but ONCE tomorrow, I will definitely let everyone know if I actually do hear something. To my "obedient friend" thank you!

Good night<><

One more day down....?????? to go!

Happy Monday everyone!! I called our case worker this afternoon and found out that she still had not talked with our lawyer. She told me that she was going to call him today. Hopefully we'll hear SOMETHING/ANYTHING soon!!!! It's a good thing that I am on my way to the prayer room at church, because I need His strength today. I am ready for this whole thing to come to an end. I am very thankful that little JP is happy, healthy and safe! His eyes shine brighter in every new picture we get of him.

I did receive his February health report today. He gained two pounds. We're up to sixteen now. He also grew ONE WHOLE INCH!!!! Yippee---now we'll fit into three month old clothes! Just wait until he gets home and I feed him goldfish all the time. That'll change. Actually I'll first have to learn to share my goldfish! hehehehe

Everyone have a GREAT night. I will update more as I learn more!

Mommy and daddy love you very much!!

More pics from Christmas!

Some Pictures of our Christmas trip to Guatemala

JP's Big Sister

This is our first born child! ha! Most of you have met our little spastic Sandy. We have been wondering how she would do when JP arrives. We'll let you know. She is very jealous of others. She has been the center of attention for five years now. She's a sweet dog, but will definitely have some adjusting to do. Since our niece, Mackenzie, came along we have not been as nervous. She loves her! Of course Mackenzie will have nothing to do with her, but JP will not have a choice! Sandy also does well with other children....Tyler, Mary Elizabeth and Taylor. (Mary Elizabeth's her favorite..hehehehe!)

JP's Nursery

This is the nursery that has been finished since November!! We had high hopes! That's okay, it's ready for him whenever God brings him to us! Scott drew the stripes and we spent three LOOONG nights at the house painting them. One of the walls was crooked (the house is old,) so we had to paint it solid. I think it worked though! All we are missing is the baseball light fixture and the rug. It is also a baseball----go figure!!

Still waiting......

Hey everyone!!! I am so excited about this new blog. Until our adoption began I was TOTALLY computer illiterate! This blog is going to serve two purposes.....1) keep everyone up to date on our journey, 2) keep me busy so that I do not go any more insane!

As of now, we are still waiting to hear. Our case worker called the other day and told us that our lawyer STILL expects our case to come OUT at any time. We are praying! It did enter PGN completed. Meaning we had our court approval. Otherwise we would have been kicked out. We are very thankful for that. God answered that prayer! Thanks to all who are lifting up prayers on our behalf! We love you.

I will post JP's newest pics when I learn how!

Andrea<><