Mount Up With Wings Like Eagles

There is a reason the Bible refers to eagles so many times. Did you know that during a storm eagles fly straight up in the air until they rise above it? It's not always easy for them. They struggle, but they never stop flying. Their goal is to get through it. How easy would it be for them to hide out somewhere in a tree or something? Avoiding the storm is not an option. With the wings God has given them, they fly right through it.

When eagles get sick they fly to the top of a rock. Once there, they lie on their backs, spread their wings and allow the sun to beat down on their chest. The sun drains the poison out of their bodies.

Eagles are very smart birds. According to what I have learned about them, they are definitely smarter than me! The first thing they do when there's trouble is fly straight up. When they are not feeling well, they go straight to the rock. They understand where their energy comes from.

I do not always do that. Sure, I know the Source of my power, but I do not always utilize it. I am in the middle of a storm right now and I am having trouble flying. I would rather hide out somewhere until it's over. How can I change this? I should probably start by planting myself on the Rock. While I'm there, I need to stand under the Son with outstretched arms and allow Him to fill me with His strength.

That is my prayer for myself and all of my friends who are flying through this storm with me. We need to find the Rock and place ourselves under the Son!

"..but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31

Introducing Tanner!!

I am SO disappointed!! I forgot to take my camera to school today. I will be posting more pics of me and "Tan-man" tomorrow! How cute is he?? He is so smart and sweet. He loves to play golf and he gets my vote for best dressed! Sorry, ladies, he's taken! (sorry, Scott!)

Wednesday

My sweet husband is home sick today. I came home to be with him. It is either a virus or food poisoning. YUK!! We'll see.

My good friend, Shannon, is a high school Spanish teacher. She and her husband left yesterday to fly to Spain for spring break. They are going on a 10 day tour with a group of her students. When they got to the airport in Charlotte, they were put in to groups that they will tour with for the 10 days. One of the ladies in their group introduced herself and said that she was an international adoption lawyer. Shannon said that chills went down her spine. She began talking to this lady about our case. The lady doesn't know if she knows our lawyer or not, but she wanted me to email her. She wants to talk with me more. She told Shannon that she would do anything to help us if she could. I have already emailed her!

I thought this was cool! You all know that I do not believe in coincidences. For whatever reason, I know that God has put this person in their path. Maybe she knows my lawyer. Maybe she can check on our case. Maybe she will just be able to encourage me the rest of the way. Who knows! I do want to thank God and make sure that I acknowledge that this is something He is doing! I give Him all the glory for it! We'll hang on, wait and see what happens!

CORRECTION

After being "gently" reminded today at work, I have to give credit where credit is due. Somehow I have led you all to believe that I began taking Excedrin Tension Headache medicine all on my own. NOTHING could be further from the truth. My DEAR FRIEND, Angela introduced it to me. I would like to think that she did so because she loves me and wants to see me get some much needed relief. The truth is that she got really tired of watching me roll my neck around, as if I was having a seizure, in class rather than working! I took her expert advice and bought the bottle you see here. EVERYONE NEEDS A FRIEND LIKE ANGELA!

This is Angela to my left in the pink! If you haven't figured it out yet, she threatened me to write a post about her. So, Ange, here it is! Enjoy your night and do not call me at MIDNIGHT when you read this----if you feel like you HAVE to talk with someone, call Nancy!

Recipe for Mothers Waiting on Their Children

Those who know me will tell you that I do not like to cook. I am not crafty in the kitchen! HOWEVER! I actually made up my own recipe tonight! This recipe is dedicated to all of my friends waiting on their children to come home from Guatemala. Although ANYONE can benefit from these goods!! It's healthy, and good for your soul. ENJOY!!

1 HOT bubble bath + 1 bottle Excedrin Tension Headache Medicine + 1 bottle cold water + 1 good book = HEAVEN!!

Monday

I actually had a good day today. Yes, you heard me right! Today was good. When I went to bed last night I felt a sense of dread come over me. Being Monday definitely had something to do with it. We are short staffed at work. That had something to do with it. It was more than that--when I am around Scott and my family, I know that I do not have to perform. I can be sad if I want to. I can be happy, I can be mad. It doesn't matter. I can be myself, whatever that may be at that moment. At work, it's different. I work with preschoolers. I have a responsibility to teach them things. I feel like I have to be fun. I also work with 40 other women who are walking through various stages in their lives. Some good, some bad. At work, I am not the only one in a trial! I have to put on a face and get through the day. It's hard. BUT I did it today when I didn't think that I could. And you know what? That means that tonight when I am getting ready for bed and I do not feel like I can make it through tomorrow---I ALREADY KNOW THAT I CAN!!

I give God ALL the credit for that. "'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecution, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Sunday Morning Praise

"Be still and know that I am God.." Psalm 46:10

God showed up at our church this morning. The entire service, from music to the message was AMAZING! That's all I can say. I needed a little praise and worship this morning. God allowed me to experience it. I thank Him.

My plans for the coming week?? To rest. Like this picture of JP, I want to sleep, I want to relax, I want to sit out in the sun and read a book.

I want to be still.

I took these pictures of the sky one morning on the way to work. I thought they were beautiful. I was going to post them and write about how beautiful God was and how you can literally find Him everywhere. While this is still true, I am not in the mood to write that tonight.

After this past kick-out, I have walked around like a zombie. I have absolutely nothing to say. Not to God, not to family, not to friends. Nobody. I am so hurt. I DO know that this happens to lots of families. There is nothing special about us that would exempt us from this heartache. My brokenness comes from something much deeper. Only God and I understand what I am referring to. I have spent COUNTLESS nights in JP's room on my face before God, asking Him to bring JP home. Asking Him NOT to allow our case to get kicked out. After the first time, I remained somewhat calm. Friday at school, my case worker emailed me and told me that things looked pretty good. A few of her cases had been kicked out but ours was not one of them. Not an hour later she emailed me that we actually had gotten kicked out. I went from cloud nine to a puddle on the floor in an hours time. BOY was I tired when I got home. What an emotional roller coaster! Anyway, I am completely out of energy. I am no longer going to act like I'm okay, because I am the furthest thing from that right now. My heart is broken. I am going to wake up tomorrow morning and go about my day. I'll do the same thing Monday. I will not be happy though until our boy comes out of PGN.

My family and friends who read this....do not panic! I will be okay. This is just a grieving process for me. Scott was reading over my shoulder just now and said, "You shouldn't post that." I asked him why. He said, "because people will think you are crazy. You said that you do not want to talk to God." Well, he's right about being crazy--I AM! My response to the "talking to God" comment??

"..the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26

Thank goodness God is listening to my heart and not my mind!

UPDATE

I found out today that we were kicked out of PGN again. They needed some information on the Children's Home where JP lives. For those of you that do not know what that means.....IT MEANS THAT THE DIRECTOR OF PGN IS A WORD THAT I WILL NOT SAY AND HE IS LOOKING FOR REASONS TO KICK CASES OUT!!!!

Anyway, they submitted the information and we re-entered today. I will post more when I am told more.

We've Hired an Interpreter For JP

I know! I know! JP will not be talking when he arrives! He will not be speaking in English, much less Spanish. However, Scott and I discussed it and decided that for the first 7 or 8 months of his little life, all he has heard is Spanish. So, we have found an interpreter. Her name is Keli Grace. She is blonde, beautiful, and very smart! She has been "speaking" Spanish for about a year now. She has been a faithful follower of my blog and is very anxious for JP to arrive! She is the perfect candidate!

So, without further ado......KELI GRACE!!

Now, for those of you who do not know Keli Grace---she is actually a student at the Meyer Center where I work. She is in the kindergarten classroom. I was one of her teachers when she was a little baby! She has grown up since then. She LOVES to talk and NEVER meets a stranger. Over the past year, her new "thing" has been to talk in Spanish to people. No one understands a word she is saying, but that doesn't stop her. In fact, one time Scott and I ran in to her at a restaurant. I introduced her to the friends we were with at the time. I asked her to talk to them in Spanish. BOY DID SHE!! She went on and on and on. When she was done she looked up at me and said, "What'd I just say?" ha! I thought it would be cute to devote a post to her. She and her mom keep up with our journey and Keli Grace gets a kick out of the pictures.

Well, KG, here are some of you! I hope you enjoy them! I am ready for JP to get here so that someone will FINALLY understand what you've been saying all this time! I love you!

Why Do You Not Have Your Baby Yet?

I'm so glad that you asked. I had no intention of posting twice today. I had to share this before I went to bed. This is the MILLION DOLLAR question in the adoption process. So, I will tell you what God told me a few minutes ago.

I was getting really sad. Scott is gone to softball practice with the church and I am home alone. Sandi would not let me dress her up anymore, so I sat down to read my Bible. I was writing in my journal in HUGE BOLD letters that I was heavy hearted and tired. I told God that He HAD to speak to me concerning JP. I have been reading 1&2 Timothy. Right before I finished chapter 4 in 2Timothy, these words JUMPED off the page at me:

"But the Lord stood at my side and gave me His strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed." v.17

I have felt God with me throughout this process. With this verse He just reminded me that He's using me to proclaim His Word. And, b/c of this, He will bring JP home when He feels it's time. I do not have a choice but to trust that. I do not have to like it, but I can trust it. Just for the record, I DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL!!! But--I DO love Him! <><

It was no different than any other afternoon. I came straight home from work. I made a B-line to the computer and checked out all of my blogs. There was nothing on T.V that I wanted to watch. The house was very quiet. I was not expecting Scott home until after 6:00. I was bored. I did not see it coming. I had done great all day. No emotional breakdowns or anything!! I was completely caught off guard by what happened.

Now before you go any further, let me remind you that it is WRONG to judge. When the following pictures are revealed, I am certain that my home study will be revoked. I will, once again, have to go through the SLED procedures and background checks. Only this time, I am sure that I will not pass! I will be forced to come to the harsh realization that I am CRAZY! I am DESPERATE! I want JP home so bad that I have turned into this person that I am not familiar with. I would like to thank all of you, once again, for all of your love and support. When my husband gets home, or one of my family members sees this post, they will surely commit me to Marshall Pickens (the local mental health facility.) It's been real while it's lasted. All good things must come to an end! At least it ended with cute pictures!

He Makes ALL THINGS New!

I found something really great in one of the MANY books I am reading. My husband will vouch for the fact that I read WAY too much! It keeps me busy!

"At times we need to remind ourselves that God knows what He's doing. When we can't trace His hand, we MUST trust His heart!"

"For God sees a bigger picture than we do. And although He loves us with a tender passion, He will use whatever method is needed to make us more like His Son. Even if it hurts. Even when we struggle to understand. 'Behold I make all things new'"

When I look around at my circumstances, I do not understand AT ALL what He's doing with me. Almost daily He reminds me that I am not called to know, only to trust. Even though it hurts. Boy does it! Knowing these things in my heart doesn't always prevent me from having a crappy day! I do not doubt that God knows what He's doing. I'm even thankful that He is using me as a part of His plan. If He didn't do another thing for me while on this earth, the fact that He sacrificed His only son is reason enough for me to praise Him for the rest of my life. I have to keep reminding myself of that!

I have a lot to be thankful for. A wonderful husband. A wonderful, supportive family. Awesome friends. A great church (by the way, I will be posting pics of our new church soon!) A very fulfilling job. Next to a lot of people, I do not have anything to complain about. I thank God for that.

So, we sit. And wait. I have told God that the ONLY gift I want this Mother's Day is for our baby to be home! I know He hears me. I also know that He wants me to have him here. I just PRAY it's part of His plan. Thank you all for your prayers and your support! You are wonderful! I hope every one's having a great weekend so far. I'll be posting again soon!

A Beautiful Boy from a Beautiful Country

A Poem for JP

I see you in my dreams.

I feel you in my heart.

How can I be complete

When we live so far apart?

When I look at you in pictures,
I see a light within your eyes.
The light in my eyes disappeared
The day I said, "good-bye!"

I know that you are happy.
You are well taken care of and safe;
But I long for you to be home with me
And recognize MY face!

God allows us to walk through valleys,
And I thank Him for my trials,
But my body is growing weary
As I wait for you, my child.

We are nearing the end of our journey.
I pray that soon you'll be in my arms.
I will raise you up to know the Lord
Who has carried us this far!

Pre-Blog Pics

After tallying the votes for my next post, (there were none! ha!) I thought that I would share some earlier pictures of Joseph with you. The first two were his referral pictures.

????

Scott has been sick for almost a week now. We are praying for him to get better!

I am trying to think of new things to post. My creative juices are not flowing. Any ideas?? Everyone's seen the nursery....I've posted JP's clothes....let me know if anyone (Melissa) has any brilliant ideas!

Have a great night!<><

The Graduate (Jodi is so proud!)

...more from the Meyer Center.

The bus ride is SO tiring!