A Special Place for Special Children

I will publish more shortly.....

I work at a place called the Meyer Center for Special Children. It is a pre-school for children with special needs. I have been there for 9 years! It is a very rewarding job--most days! I thought I would post some pictures!

Saturday Night Meltdown

It began like any other Saturday. Scott and I woke up early, went to Golden Corral for breakfast. We went to WalMart for groceries and then came home. Scott had some things he needed to do and I called my mom to find out what we were doing. Keep in mind, we live across the street from one another and talk on the phone--WHATEVER! If that's not bad enough, we will talk for HOURS about what we're going to do. Most Saturdays slip away while we're deciding. Pathetic, I know.

Saturday night Scott and I went to church for the "Facing the Giants" movie. Attendance was GREAT--so was the movie. Afterwards we went out for ice cream w/ Terry and Shannon and the kids. It was a good night.

So far so good.

Before we went to bed I had my quiet time. I closed my Bible, prayed and BAM, just like that my mood changed! I began crying uncontrollably and I was extremely irritated. I am so thankful that God not only accepts but appreciates our honesty. He got an earful from me. I unloaded on Him. All the same stuff, "I am tired of praying and nothing happening," "Why is JP not home yet?" Blah, blah, blah! At this point I did not know where these emotions came from. I was in such a good mood. Aren't you suppose to feel peaceful, comforted and strengthened after your quiet time?? When I finally calmed down I went back and re-read the verses from my study. This is what I read:

"When my heart was grieved,

and my spirit was embittered

I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before You.

Yet I am always with You;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with Your counsel,

and afterward you will take me into Glory,

Whom have I in Heaven but You?

And earth has nothing I desire besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever!" Psalm73:21-26

Boy was I a beast! A red, puffy-eyed slobbery beast! I realized that even though I felt happy at the time, my heart was still grieving- and will until JP's home. During those times, even though I yell and tell God how disappointed and bitter I am, He still holds my hand. Even tighter. If it were up to my flesh, I would be in sad shape, but God is "the strength of my heart and my portion forever!"

Father, I am thankful for Your love and Your mercy! Today I am even more thankful for Your friendship. Thank You for allowing me to be brutally honest with you when I'm unhappy. Continue to give me Your strength on a daily basis. Care for JP and please bring him, along with all the other babies, home SOON! I love you. Amen

Family

(From left to right) Laurie (sister), Jamie, BJay (cousins), and me. Scott's trying to fit himself in to the shot, but we squeezed him out! Sorry, honey!

The Countdown Begins!

We re-entered PGN on March 2nd. My caseworker said that PGN is NOT taking 8 wks. right now. Let's PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!

HAPPY SEVEN MONTHS, JP!!!

I will post a picture later. I am not at home right now!! My baby's seven months today! I hope he's doing well!

Quick update--I am waiting to hear from my caseworker. She is going to let me know by Friday the exact date that our case re-entered. We're praying for TWO TO THREE WEEKS ago!!

Enough Is Enough!

I read from 1Kings today. Chapter 19:4-7,11-13. God led me here this morning to read about Elijah. In these verses, Elijah was running for his life. He ran through the wilderness, found a tree, sat down under it and prayed that he would die. He cried out to God, "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, LORD!!" (emphasis mine!) Let me backtrack just a little. Elijah was one of Isreal's prophets. Because of him, the false prophets had been killed. Jezebel had a lot invested in these false prophets and now she was out to kill Elijah. He was afraid and he was tired. He had, had enough! "..while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. 'I have had enough, Lord' He then fell asleep." (v 4-5)

Basically Elijah was God's man. In this book, he did a lot of MAJOR stuff for God. He was tired. He was lonely and he felt sorry for himself. In the following verses, the Lord speaks to Elijah and tells him to go and stand on the top of the mountain in His presence. A strong wind came. An earthquake came. A fire came down. God was not in any of them. After the fire was gone, Elijah heard a whisper--It was God! He was in the whisper.

I thought about these verses throughout my day. I am tired too. I have screamed out to God that I have "had enough!" I have days (like today) when all I want to do is sleep. Just like Elijah under that tree. I have friends in my life right now who are tired of their circumstances.

-Tired of cancer

-tired of waiting on their babies

-tired of their relationship struggles

-tired FROM the special attention their children need.

It's unrealistic to think that we can all go hike up to the top of the mountain to be close to God. I started thinking- where can I go to be in His presence? The answer God gave me tonight was everywhere! I can be in His presence in my bedroom, the kitchen, my job, my church etc.. I just have to look for Him and ask Him to show me His face. He will. When I have had enough and I feel like I am unable to put one foot in front of the other, I need to begin RIGHT THEN looking for God. "All at once an angel of the Lord touched him and said 'Get up and eat.' Elijah looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread and a jar of water.' He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came a second time and touched him, 'Get up and drink.' Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights.." (v.5-8)

God gave Elijah the strength to make his journey. He is doing the same for me. I cry out "Lord, I am tired of this, I have had enough." I fall asleep and the next day He gives me just enough strength to make it through another day. He will do the same for my friends on their difficult journeys! He does it for all of us!

Whatever journey you are on right now, find the top of your mountain and stand in God's presence. Listen for Him. He will speak to you. Maybe not in a very loud voice. He may speak to you softly--in a whisper!