off and running

I used to run a lot.  And I loved it.  To me, there is no better form of stress relief.  I cannot pinpoint the exact day I stopped running,  however I do know that it happened during, what I like to call, Our Great Depression: Adoption. 

International adoption is NOT for the weak at heart.  And it is not for everyone.  Looking back, I can honestly say that there is no part of the process I wouldn't do over.  The trials , flips, twists and turns of the trip is what made us into the family we are.  And when I say family, I am referring to ANYONE who knows/loves and supports my sweet child!  The point is, adoption is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.

Up until now.


I am currently facing a much larger giant.  And I would be deceiving you if I wasn't honest by saying that over the past week I can actually feel myself slipping into a depression.  I am so good at:

• Keeping busy
• Taking JP to the park and wearing a hat so that no one can tell that I am crying.
• Putting on the "happy" mask around everyone and crying myself to sleep at night.

This list could go on.  I have mastered them all.  Trust me.  Well,  I made a decision tonight!  Satan has already won ONE victory through this rain.  I REFUSE TO LET HIM TAKE MY JOY ANY MY IDENTITY AWAY FROM ME!  So, rather than crawling in the bed, covering my head or watching Netflix ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY, I am going to reinvent myself.  I'm breaking out my sweat clothes and my old running shoes!  I am so excited! 

Please don't misunderstand me.  I'm gonna have bad days, for sure.  I cannot change that.  It's part of this ugly process.  What I can, and will, change is how I react to the bad days.  For now, I'm gonna run until I cannot run any more.  And I'm thankful I have friends who are willing to push me towards this new goal.  I plan on being very successful over time.  And I will gratefully accept any prayer support you can offer.  I also have a wish list for my millionaire friends who, I'm sure read this site....

1. A small IPod with headphones for running
2. New running shoes/socks
3. Runner's wrist watch

Donations are welcome! (J/k)    Well, I will keep you all informed from time to time of how this goes.  With updates and pictures!  For now just pray for my success.  As I said before I am in definite need of stress relief.  Now.