Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
It was nice to get away from the adoption process for a whole weekend. God really allowed me to have a clear head and I actually did not think about it. I praise Him for that! If PGN lasts much longer, I will probably have to "get away" alot more. It was really good for my sanity. The kids were so much fun.
Well, I'm closing for tonight. Tune in tomorrow for pics! THANK GOODNESS TOMORROW'S MONDAY--- PGN WILL BE UP AND RUNNING AGAIN! Bring us OUT, Lord!!
Friday, April 27, 2007
I will not have my computer, so I will not be able to take you along with me. I will, however, take LOTS of pictures and share them when we get back. We are not coming home until Sunday evening. Unless I figure out a way to stay until JP comes home---so, if you do not hear from me by Monday, I'm camped out next to a river somewhere! (I wish!)
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I will be praying for good news for all of us Guatemamas. See you Monday!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
I would love to tell you that I came home from work, read my Bible, prayed. REALLY spent some alone time with God. Then I would tell you what a difference it made in my overall attitude. I would tell you that I felt the Spirit move within me and immediately I felt cheery again. Knowing that all would eventually be well at the Beam house.
However, I cannot tell you that. I am in a better mood though. Know why?? Because I am headed to ..............
That's right!! Coconut Shrimp appetizer, here I come! WOO-HOO!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Whew!!!!!!!! I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF THAT!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE THOUGHT! NOW I FEEL MUCH BETTER.
If JP is not with us for Mother's Day, our beach trip the first of June, or for his first birthday, it's okay with me now that I know it was God's timing!! (Sense the sarcasm in my voice.) I need to go back to my "Top 10" list and add this one! Since yesterday, I have had two other well-meaning people tell me the same thing. YUK! YUK! YUK! I am about to give you my opinion on this subject.
I believe that some things happen that are not necessarily God's will. I do not believe that it is God's will for JP to still be living in an orphanage instead of here with me. I believe that he is still living in the orphanage because the director of PGN is making it difficult for us to bring him home. Now, is God allowing it to happen this way? Absolutely. I do not know the reasons why, but I am sure there are many. So, because I know this, I am mad! It is not right! And I do not need people (my caseworker) telling me that it is God's will and God's timing! I need her to allow me to be upset about what's going on in that country and scream if I want to. Note to people who have friends who are adopting: don't say this!!! If we are upset, just cry with us. Just hug us. Just get mad with us. Whatever you feel like doing. Just do not tell us that it's the Lord's will for us to be a country away from our babies! Hearing that does not make it feel any better. It actually makes me feel like, because I know that, I should suck it up, act like a good little Christian girl, and move on.
When I was little, my older brother was sick with Cancer. He died when we were young. I can't tell you how many people would come up to my mom and say, "It must have been the Lord's will," or "It was his time to go." Again I say, what???? No it was not!! He died because we live in an imperfect world and his body was unable to fight off the cancer. Hearing this didn't help my mother, it infuriated her! I am not comparing waiting on JP to losing a child. I am only saying that my mom just needed someone to be mad with her, cry with her, hurt with her.
I do too! I am completely and 100% in love with the Lord. I love talking to Him, reading His Word and listening for Him to speak. But I also know He has a perfect will and a permissive will. There will probably be someone or even a few people who will read this and disagree or be offended by what I've said. That's okay. We do not all have to agree. I just have my opinion. Maybe I should not express it on a day when I am furious! Oh well, I did create this blog for this reason. It's all a part of my "Journey Through Adoption."
I am going to try and go to bed now. I will tune in to American Idol 5 minutes before it ends to see who's voted off! (I'm not too sad for that! ha!) I will end on a positive note. My blog-friend, Lou is going to leave for Guatemala next month to be with her precious daughter until she's out of PGN! CONGRATULATIONS, LOU!
Hopefully I did not scare anyone away from my blog!! Goodnight!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Until tonight! I actually cooked a real meal! We all know that when we go through trials in our lives, God uses them for good. Well, Scott thanked the good Lord when he got home from work and saw that I had cube steak, macaroni & cheese (not Kraft Cheesy Mac) rice & gravy, green beans and biscuits! All because I needed something to do with my time!
So, I hope you're sitting down! What you are about to see will shock most of you!
In the beginning...
Sunday, April 22, 2007
And, yes, I survived my first church service since our "fake" phone call this past week! That's what I am calling it! For those of you who are not adopting, church is one of the hardest places to go at times. You always answer alot of questions and do alot of explaining. Everyone means well, but it drains you. Mainly people just hugged us and let us know that they were praying for us. It was nice!! You have to feel sorry for people around us adopting moms---no one ever knows what kind of mood we are in or how we are going to react! I did not want to get out of bed this morning and go, but once I was there, I was thankful.
And of course I CANNOT WAIT FOR MONDAYS!! It means that we are another week closer to having our baby home! Hopefully we'll hear something this week.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
We have no special plans for tonight. There are ballgames on ALL DAY LONG, so guess where Scott's going to be?! The same place he's been all morning long! hehe I will cook dinner and probably jump in to the newest book I've been reading! So, in other words, this has been a very relaxing weekend so far! Not too sad. I thank God for that!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Thank you to those who are concerned about me. I would not say that I am okay, but I'm waking up everyday, going to work and doing my best to stay busy. What else do you do? I thank you all for your comments and support! You all are WONDERFUL and I am very thankful to have you as a support system!
I will post again tomorrow. Do not get excited- the "more interesting" post has NOTHING to do with the adoption. I have nothing new to report about that. And if I did, who knows if it would be reliable! ha!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
I don't even know where to begin! I have an awesome post to share with you once I collect myself. I am still in shock!! God wanted me to have a great weekend, and boy did I!! It looks like He's giving me my Mother's Day present that I asked Him for!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!
I will write more tomorrow! We are celebrating tonight! Thank you for your prayers and support! PGN's moving, girls, hold on!!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
GOING TO SEE BETH MOORE IN COLUMBIA!!!! YIPPEE! My mom, my aunt and I are heading to Columbia for the weekend to a Beth Moore conference. I am so excited. Not only will this be a distraction for me, but I will be "fed" in the process! I also love hotels and we are staying in a brand new hotel and suites w/ king size beds!! Bring on the sleep and relaxation! I will not be blogging for a couple of days (unless I get a CALL on my cell over the weekend!) Everyone have a wonderful weekend and I will hopefully have some great material to share w/ you when I return!! HAPPY WEEKEND!
I am happy with this news.