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My mind is so empty right now I am unable to even come up with a title for this post. The only reason I am even writing is because usually when I feel this way, God has something He wants to say. Sometimes it is to me. Other times I will receive an email from someone else that the Holy Spirit has chosen to speak to. I actually sat down to check my emails one last time before heading to bed. My allergies are C.R.A.Z.Y right now and I have felt so horrible at night. I am really sleepy. I am also very emotional. Seriously. Emotional. I came home from work and made breakfast for dinner. French toast and eggs...YUM! It hit the spot. One of my favorites, Sheryl White, came over to visit baby Preston aka Peanut! After she left, I came home, sat on the couch to watch t.v with Scott and began to cry. I am not talking about teary-eyed, or a small trickle. I sobbed. Why, you ask? I have NO IDEA. Scott was COMPLETELY freaked out! He held me for a minute (because he's sweet like that) and I began laughing uncontrollably. After I got myself under control, I went to the bathroom to wash my face. My puffy face. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I began to think...What must God think of me? There are more times than not that I am a total TRAIN WRECK. So, what does He really see when He looks at me? I see...

A sinner.

A liar (please hold your gasps...if you think you do not lie, you are lying to yourself!).

A poor steward.

A girl who breaks her promises.

A mother who loses her temper.

A woman who does not honor God with food.

A procrastinator.

A girl who sometimes rushes through her quiet time each morning to watch Channel 4 News (again, please hold your gasps..)

A girl who sometimes laughs at the wrong kind of joke.

A wife who spends time texting her friends when she could be talking to her husband.

A teacher who is sometimes too tired in the afternoons to play with her little boy.

A gossip.

As I am sitting here listing all the things that I see in myself, I feel the Holy Spirit answering my question... What does God see when He looks at me? Jesus.

Again, I begin to cry...