"While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
When the disciples saw this, they were indignant.'Why this waste?' they asked. 'This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.'
Aware of this, Jesus said to them, 'Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.' "
I sang this song in church tonight. Alabaster Box. It is a beautiful song. The words are amazing. Very worshipful. I'm sure you've probably read this passage of scripture a million times. Tonight when I sang, I was able to truly worship. I have to be honest, I was a little worried. The condition of my heart tends to change with the wind these days. When I am singing, I am definitely in a very vulnerable state of mind. I didn't want to cry. And thanks to God, I didn't! But, I was able to close my eyes and really play out the scenes of this passage in my mind. It was so real.
Part of the lyrics say, "You weren't there the night He found me, and you didn't feel what I felt when He wrapped His love all around me. You don't know the cost of the oil, no you don't know the cost of my praise....you don't know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box." And it's true. I don't know the cost of another person's praise. I have no idea what is in the box that they are carrying into a worship service with them. I have no idea the sacrifice they had to make in order to find Jesus, gather their perfume (praise) and kneel at His feet. But Jesus knows. He understands the road they've traveled. He understands the baggage they have draped across their shoulders. He knows our pain.
And He wants to carry it for us. I don't know about you, but I am so thankful for that. My box is REALLY heavy. I offered it to Him tonight... now, I just have to work really hard not to take it back!
On another note, we are taking JP to the doctor today. A child psychiatrist/ologist. You have probably figured it out by now, but the dynamics of our home have DRASTICALLY changed over the past five months. I have tried really hard not to expose JP to the details surrounding our transition, but it amazes me how much they pick up on, on their very own. I have been advised by several clinical professionals NOT to offer any information until he comes and asks questions. And I was assured that he would eventually approach me. So far, it hasn't happened. Having said that, Scott and I went to his 2nd quarter conference Friday to meet with his teacher and discuss his progress. She told me that JP talks about our situation a good bit in class. I was completely caught off guard by this. I guess I shouldn't be. JP is a very smart and intuitive kid. I think I felt so bad that he has chosen to talk to his teacher and friends at school rather than us. She assured me that he seems happy and appears to have a healthy relationship with both me and Scott. I was relieved to hear that, because we work REALLY hard to make things seem as peaceful and loving as possible for him.
So, if you don't mind, I'll ask you to stop at 11:30 and lift the three of us up in prayer as we meet with the doctor. I am very anxious and nervous. It is never something that you want to do. But, I feel that it is in his best interest. There are so many things in life that JP has little to no control over. I certainly intend to provide him with multiple outlets to express his feelings. Positive or negative.
Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful MONDAY! I am off work, which is always a good thing!!
I will keep you updated....