blessed

I am sitting here in my bed wishing that I could slide under my warm covers and fall into a deep sleep.  I am so tired.  But before I do, I wanted to share with you what is on my heart tonight.

Everything that I have known to be my life for the past twelve years, in one day, shattered into a million pieces around me.

Gone. 

At this point, you are probably wondering why I have titled this post blessed.  I agree that it's confusing.  How does someone who has literally lost everything that was important to them feel blessed?  Some days, that is hard for me to answer.  Thankfully, today is NOT one of those days.  There was nothing extraordinary about my day.  I went to work, came home and took the boys to the park.  I ran two miles in my neighborhood, showered and watched the NCIS finale.  It was an ordinary Tuesday.

Except that I received one text and Facebook message after another from my closest friends throughout the afternoon/night.  And for no other reason than to remind me of how much they love me. That may not sound like much to you, but to me at this particular moment, it means the WORLD.  When your heart has been broken and you are grieving a loss, there is no better feeling than to be surrounded by family and friends who love and support you.  And God has blessed me with more than I deserve. 

I cannot stress to you enough the importance of making the most of the moments around you and cherishing  your family and friends.  Take it from me... they could be gone in the blink of an eye.  Make sure they know you love them back.  Throughout my trial, I have learned who my best friends are.  And as I've said before, I will spend the rest of my life making sure they know how important they are to me.  I have FOUR best friends and you know who you are.  I love each of you dearly and thank you for taking such amazing care of me.

In addition to those friends, I have my family.  I cannot even come up with words to describe how special they are to me.  I have an awesome and loving extended family.  But, in this post, I am referring to my mom, dad, sister, son and nephew.  When I think of this bunch, the very first word that jumps into my mind is DYSFUNCTIONAL.  All six of us now live under one roof.  That is a WHOLE LOT OF CRAZY!!  But, it's MY crazy. 

MOM/LAURIE:  I didn't include you in my list of best friends because the relationship we share goes FAR beyond that.  You put up with my mood swings.  You don't ask questions, but rather just listen when I begin to talk.  You watch all my favorite television shows with me, or should I say you fall asleep watching all of my favorite shows with me. I could go on. I love you both so much.

DAD:  I have always considered myself to be a "daddy's girl."  Over the past ten months, you have become more than that.  You are my protector.  Shelter.  Rock.  Example.  And more importantly, the only man I love who has never (and will never) hurt me.  Your love for all of us is the perfect analogy of how Christ loves His children.  And for that, we feel loved and God feels proud.

Preston/JP:  You both drive me absolutely INSANE and make my heart smile all at the same time.  I love taking you places and sharing new experiences with you. Preston, you are a miracle and JP you are my gift from God. 

This post ended up being much different than I had intended.  That is usually how it works.  I guess I needed to put these feelings into writing.  I'm sure that this bored most of you.  I am sorry if that is so.  For me, it was very therapeutic. 

Goodnight.