Wednesday, October 23, 2013

i need to change

JP began pleading with me to watched more television before he even finished his shower.  "Mom!  Come here, please!  I need to ask you a question.."  I didn't bother going back into the bathroom after the second time. "Please let me watch just one more show!"  He would scream.  His question never changed.  
I didn't want to ignore him.  But, I had already given my answer.  I wasn't trying to be mean, I just know what's best for him.  I know how much sleep he needs in order to be productive in school.  He turned off the water, dried himself off and brushed his teeth.  I told him to tell everyone night and meet me in the bedroom.  I could hear him stomping through the house.  By the time he reached the bedroom though, he smiled at me.  That was odd, given how mad he was.  "JP, I like your smile.  Are you not mad at me anymore?"  I asked. 
There was a profound message for me in his response.  "Mommy, I was so mad because you wouldn't let me watch television or play on my iPad, but God changed my heart so now I have a better attitude." 
And this "just happened" to be our devotion before bed:
"You don't like it when your plans are messed with.  You had a goal in mind, but I said, 'Not now.'  When you don't get to do what you want, you feel like stomping your foot and yelling.  But instead you get angry.  I want you to let that frustration out -- to me.  I'll understand, and I'll help you sort through it..."
I know I do not like to have my plans messed with.  My plans have blown up in my face!  I am learning the hard way that God isn't always going to change my circumstances.  And when that's the case, I need to be more like my son.  I need to allow God to change ME! 
Oh how I love my child.

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